It's been unusually cold here

Today I was finally home during daylight, so I went on poo patrol, with Orion, as usual, tagging along behind me. It was an unpleasant poo patrol because the snow hid old poo, and I had to creep along, with my hands aching from the cold.
As I rounded the raised garden bed, I saw Odin devouring the last of Orion's food in the bowl inside (which explains why Odin is beginning to look, from above, like the "overweight" dog on the chart at the vet office - a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, Odin).
So anyway, I went running towards the door to yell at Odin, hit a patch of ice, slid along merrily on my heels until I hit the wooden "deck" thing, fell down onto it, watched the bag of poop fly in slow motion towards the sliding glass door; it hit the "deck" (not the door, which I seriously cleaned two days before), burst open and frozen chunks of poo went everywhere, and I, in the only non-clumsy part of this whole ordeal, did not smack my hands down into it.
Odin looked at me like it was a dinner show, and then licked his lips and waddled off.